


Crystalline

by martinnn



Series: Bad End Nightmares [4]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Clear is a good bf, Clear's Good End, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, do i hate all my endings? yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 10:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12933213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martinnn/pseuds/martinnn
Summary: Aoba didn’t quite know when the nightmares started.





	Crystalline

Aoba didn’t quite know when the nightmares started.

It was after Toue had been taken down; after the destruction of Oval Tower. It was even after Clear had been fixed; because, yes, before that, he’d had minor night terrors that Clear would never be fixed and that he would have to live alone with the pain of knowing Clear had destroyed himself for Aoba. 

But that was a long time ago. And Clear was with him now and things were good. So why was he waking up in a cold sweat, clutching at his arms and legs as if to reassure himself that they were still there?

At first, he'd tried shaking it off. He told himself they were just dreams and even if he did wake up in darkness, he still had his eyes and he could still see the light of the moon through the curtains. 

In all honesty, he could live with the nightmares. It wasn't as if they were physically impairing him. What scared him the most then, was the way Clear was involved. In his nightmares, Clear was the one deforming him. Dream-Clear was broken, a product of Toue still; he wanted to craft Aoba into his own perfect doll. Aoba didn't need things like limbs or eyes. He was just there for Dream-Clear to ~~fuck~~ adore.

And of course, Aoba knew it was a dream. He _knew_ it was. Clear would never _never_ do anything to hurt him. Clear loved him, cherished him. He did stupid mundane domestic things like cook with just an apron on or still affectionately call him Master~. He still asked for reassurance sometimes. He would ask to touch Aoba's face and for Aoba to tell him that they were the same as he ran the pads of his fingers over Aoba’s eyelids and cheekbones. He was always gentle, always loving.

But that still didn’t stop him from unconsciously and involuntarily projecting Dream-Clear onto Real-Clear and with it, a subconscious fear of him. It manifested in just the little things at first-- the way he jumped when Clear touched him, his muscles tightening up for a millisecond before relaxing.

Slowly it got worse. Aoba began shying away, disentangling himself when Clear wanted to cuddle or all out avoiding Clear’s touch. He would hardly let Clear hold his hands, much less touch his eyes. Where before, Clear holding Aoba’s face was a reassuring loving act, Aoba was now terrified the andriod would push his thumbs into his sockets and blind him-- just like that. 

He could tell it was having detrimental effects on Clear, but Aoba didn’t exactly know how to say, “Hey, I’m having some pretty traumatizing dreams. You aren’t feeling like drugging me out, dismembering me, and raping me, right?”

Their relationship was becoming more and more strained but the band finally snapped when Aoba shielded away from Clear’s third attempt to grab his hand. They were at home, not doing anything particularly intimate and Aoba kept drawing his arm closer and closer to himself every time Clear reached for him.

At last he sat back dejected. “Aoba-san,” he whined.”Aoba, something is wrong, I can tell.”

Aoba bit his lip and refused to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbled.

“Something’s wrong,” Clear said stubbornly, falling back deeper into the couch with a small hurt noise, like a kicked dog “You’ve been avoiding me like… Like I did something wrong. Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” Aoba was quick to say. He shifted so that he was facing his boyfriend more fully, yet he still did not reach out to touch him as he so desperately wanted to. “You didn’t do anything at all. I’m just--” He paused. He was just what? Subliminally scared of his boyfriend? Subconsciously so severely fucked up that he dreamt of Clear mutilating him? God, what was his deal? The worst part was that he couldn’t-- he didn’t want-- to tell Clear. He was terrified of Clear’s reaction and would give anything to not have to see the crumbling look on Clear’s face if he told him about what was happening. “It’s a personal thing,” he finally admitted with a sigh, looking down. “Honestly, I’ll be okay. It’s nothing you need to worry about--”

“Aoba.”

The way Clear said his name-- with so much seriousness untypical of his normal attitude-- made Aoba look up stunned. Clear was looking at him with an unreadable, intense expression. Aoba shifted a little under the weight of it. “Your problems aren’t your to fight alone anymore,” he said. “Remember? You saved me and I’m here with you forever.”

Aob opened his mouth to argue. He hadn’t saved Clear. He had destroyed Clear, and the android had saved himself.

But Clear wouldn’t let him formulate a response. “No, Aoba-san. You saved me. In more ways than one. You tried to fix me on your own after everything. You made me realize that I am human. That I am like you. Remember--?” He reached out towards Aoba’s face but when he pulled back, Clear’s hand dropped in defeat. “Do you not-- Can you not tell me? Do you not trust me?”

Aoba shook his head and sighed. There really was no reason to keep it all bottled up. He looked down to his hands. “The truth is… I’ve been having these dream. Well, they’re more like nightmares. I don’t know when they started and I don’t know _why_ they started. I just… You’re in them.”

Clear nodded sympathetically, encouraging him to continue.

“But, you’re not you. You’re like the other one’s-- still under Toue. You… you think of me as a doll? I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s scary. And you think that, b-because I’m a doll… I don’t need… In my dreams you t-took my arms and my legs and my e-eyes….” He trailed off, hands coming around his torso to hug his upper arms, a small shiver running down his spine. 

Clear’s expression was unreadable. His eyes were forlorn and downcast. This was exactly why Aoba didn’t want to tell him-- for this look, this silence. Aoba didn’t know what to say to fix this situation. These were his feelings, laid out plain and as the time stretched out, Aoba could feel the tension rising. “Clear--”

“I can’t fix what’s going on.” He spoke before Aoba could continue. “I know I can’t. But I’m going to try. I’ll respect the space and time you need. But I am here for you. Didn’t I tell you? I’m here with you forever. You gave me a new life.” He looked like he wanted to reach out and cradle Aoba and if they were in a different situation, the man likely would have let him. 

As it were, however, he just couldn’t bring his own arms away from how they shielded him. Clear was patient and good. Aoba nodded shakily. “Promise?”

“Of course, Aoba-san.” He extended his hand as if to shake on in but then thought better with a small frown and began pulling back when Aoba, in a blind moment, grabbed his hand. It scared them both. Aoba’s eyes were wide. He laced their fingers together and squeezed.

“They’re just dreams,” he reiterated. “They can’t hurt me.”

Clear nodded and squeezed his hand back. “Just dreams. Yeah. Just dreams.”


End file.
